At the beginning of 2006, I organized a creative retreat for nine women in my artistic community. We had all known or known of each other for many years through our work as artists and writers, but we had never spent time together face to face. We met for three days at my home in Solvang, CA, where we spent time talking, creating, taking pictures and having one great big slumber party. There were structured activities and free time, a wine tasting picnic and a dancing in my living room, and by the time the weekend was over we had formed a bond that will always be with us, reminding us of the beauty and importance of our creative community.
One of the activities we did was an exercise led by Andrea Scher, an artist and personal coach, in which we all imagined a conversation with our future selves. We were instructed to visualize where we were, the environment, the weather, the time of day, even what we were wearing. When the exercise was over, we all shared our conversations with each other and contemplated why our future selves said the things they said, as well as why we asked the questions we asked.
When I imagined sitting down with my future self, I pictured a living room in a cozy house. There were tall ceilings, a fluffy, oversized couch, and a fireplace with a beautiful fire burning. The sun had just set beyond the French doors, and the back yard served as the foreground to a gorgeous view of the mountains. The image exuded peace, comfort and a delicious intimacy, and the most important message I took away from this encounter was that I would always be OK. My future self wanted me to know that no matter what, I would always have whatever I needed to get through any challenge or triumph that lay before me.
This experience has stayed with me ever since - the knowledge that my future self is actually out there, cheering me on and encouraging me every step of the way having made a mark in my psyche that I can always turn to when I feel lost, overwhelmed or uninspired. I imagine my future self sometimes looks at me and shakes her head, but in the gentlest way, knowing I’m simply doing the best I can despite my stumbles and foibles. I sometimes hear her in the back of my mind saying, “It’s OK, you’ll figure all of this out and I’ll be here for you no matter what.”
I do various things to pull myself deeper into my faith when I start to lose my way – I pray, I draw cards from a deck of Rumi quotations, I look to the stars for inspiration and I talk to my grandma, who passed away less than two years ago, for guidance. While all of this is wonderful and meaningful and spiritual, I find the idea of looking to myself now and then for spiritual affirmation very powerful, for if I cannot look to and rely on my future self - which I hope to be my very best self, my wisest self, someone who may still have many lessons to learn but most assuredly has learned more than I know now - then I really have lost all hope of finding meaning in anything I do.
It is my future self that is waiting for me. She knows me best, knows what I am capable of, and can teach me so much of what I need to learn. Your future self is waiting for you too, and knows you are strong and beautiful and powerful. Listen to her; hear her cheers.
Christine Mason Miller
